Some would say you have “lived” your life; in your 40+ years on earth, you met and married the love of your life, you had children, you started your own company to much success…but they don’t talk about the loss of the love of your life….and the emptiness that has dwelled within you despite all the success.
Now, you’re at a time in your life where you truly know who you are, know what you believe, know what you want…and one thing you want is LOVE.
An old adage states you don’t find love; it finds you. It’s true. While you’re busy, looking for someone who is your age, who is established, mature, and cultured, love plops someone directly in your path that looks nothing like the image you’ve conjured up. Well, he could be that image, if he were 10, 15 years older.
People say that age ain’t nothing but a number, but when it comes to real love and relationships, is that really true?
So often, we see older men with younger women; we see it in the news (older male anchor, younger female anchor), we see it on TV programs, we read about it in books, we watch it in movies, etc. By the time we see it in real life, directly in front of us, it seems normal. It has become a staple in our everyday diet.
Flip the scenario, and you get a whole other reaction…What if he wants to have children? You know women mature faster than men do – how can he even reach your level? So, is he looking for another mother? You look good, girl, but you’re not 30 anymore. What can someone that young see in you? The sex might be good, but what else can he offer you? Are you so desperate that you’d steal from another mother’s crib? That boy is old enough to be your son’s best friend – that’s disgusting. You do know that when you’re 60, old, and wrinkled, he’ll still be fine and in his forties – he will leave you for another. So, you practicing the art of the cougar now?
Sad thing is many of these questions will come from the woman involved in the relationship. Just like women have been trained since birth to await Prince Charming, they have also been trained to wait for someone who is older, someone who can not only love them but also protect them.
It’s hard enough to discern love within yourself; it’s even harder when family and friends put their five cents into your love life and make you question the feelings you have for your younger mate.
In the end, despite what your family and friends think…despite the worrisome questions that flood your mind, you have to ask yourself, “Do I love him and is love enough?” YOU’LL have to look at your list of must-haves in a man and honestly assess the man before you. With his age out of the equation, is he the man that connects with you mind, body, soul, and spirit? If so, toss those worries away, and give the hand to every family member and friend who offers a disparaging word.
One woman I know who is going through this exact same issue – among others – is Ayo Montgomery, the strong-willed main character of Niambi Davis’ debut novel, FROM DUSK TIL DAWN.
Will Ayo let age be a deciding factor in finding AND keeping love a second time around? Read the book to find out…and then ask yourself, “What would I do?”
$10.95 US; ISBN-10: 1600430368